Hey guys, happy Friday. Here’s a throwback to a story I wrote for The Black Sheep last year. What better time to post it than post-mugs? Hope you’re all recovering well. PS we’re not hungover. Love, the post-grads.
Friday through Sunday is for casual drinkers. Monday is for potential alcoholics. Tuesday is for karaoke. Wednesday is for pints. And Thursday – Thursday is for mugs. I know I don’t speak just for myself when I say mug night is the best night. Everyone is ready to let loose by Thursday, and nothing brings people together quite like a blackout on a budget. As with any addiction, the trickiest part of mug night is knowing when to stop. When do four mugs become the standard instead of the challenge? Sometimes it’s difficult to pick up on your friends’ warning signs. Your buddy ordering a mug of Patron might be a good indication it’s time to head out. Or that the party’s just getting started. But in all fairness, Ames bars are asking for the drunkenness they get: the curiosity AJ’s Ultra Lounge and Big Shots bring. The Friday morning stories that Yokes dance floor promises. The hope that the rage cage will open up at Mickey’s. The blackout thrill of requesting a non-country song at Outlaw’s. The almost too cold but still enjoyable patio at Cy’s. The casual frat lap around Paddy’s. The tradition of the stripper pole at Sips. What are we left to do besides use them for all they’re worth? I suppose we can still grasp some sort of responsibility by getting familiar with the mental and physical state of each mug consumption, and save ourselves the hassle of making one more mistake that evening.
Half-a-muggers: Get out.
One-muggers: You’re just really happy to be out with others. Maybe you’ve had a long week, or maybe you feel like you haven’t been out in a while. We’ll accept that you’re clearly not looking to get rowdy, but we won’t condone it. If you’re trying that whole “responsibility” thing, then stick with your one mug at your one bar and enjoy not being hung over for your Friday 8 AM. You’ll hear recounts of mug stories on CyRide the next morning and think, “Ahh, that could have been me. Maybe next weekend.” We hope that’s the case too.
Two-muggers: You’re the person enablers feed on. After two mugs, there’s definitely some headway in mental and physical impairment, but there’s so much room for more. You’re amidst coaxing friends and friendly strangers, and you have to decide if you’re going in all or nothing this evening. At this point, you’re ready to confront others you A.) don’t know but want to be friends with, B.) don’t know but can probably score a free drink from, or C.) used to know and can talk to now that you’re intoxicated. You finished the night speaking in a few slurs, but not enough that your friends can make fun of you for anything. There’s a good chance you texted either an ex-boyfriend or a sophomore year hook up, but no serious damage has been done.
Three-muggers: You’re feeling good, and that dance floor is begging you for a solo performance. It’s near the end of that third mug that you struggle with the toughest bar debate: another mug or do you casually switch over to shots? $30 for 3 shots? Sounds like a deal. Twitter is blowing up. You’re trying desperately to fit your crazy emotions into a content field that only allows 140 characters; you most likely end up with something like, “Omg I love my biddies #mugz” attached to a Twitpic of you and your friends proving you don’t have to be vertical to be photogenic. You head out a bit before bar close because a hot slice of Jeff’s sounds too good to pass up.
Four-plus-muggers: The phrase “last call” translates into “whose bed am I sleeping in tonight?” By the time, you’re crawling for snacks, eyes half open and most of your outgoing texts contain numbers and emojis instead of words and phrases. Or on the flip side, you’re finishing strong on the dance floor, rage hands high and self-esteem higher. You weren’t the guy who threw up in the bathroom and you weren’t the girl who punched the bouncer. Both are valid wins.