R. Kelly Usually Doesn’t Do This, But We Do: “Ignition” Cover by Riley & Merritt

“Not only did I get an A in music, but I got an A in ladies.” – R. Kelly.

1. Riley sang “premix to rignition” nine times out of 10. Words are hard.

2. I have really poor posture apparently. Don’t judge.

3. We know the video quality isn’t great. Maybe we should’ve used a video camera instead of an LG Chocolate.

4. Jimmy Fallon usually doesn’t do this either, but I guess HE HAS AWESOME TIMING. (You’re a copy cat, Jimmy. But we still love you.)

5. We’re past the point of caring how cheesy this might be.

6. Please somebody put “Ignition” in your Varieties 2015 skit.

7. Couples who play 2003 hip hop songs together, stay together.

8. R. Kelly told me once that he actually WAS trying to be rude.

9. We actually probably had too much fun doing this.

10. We’re between two hot contenders for our next cover: “Smack That” by Akon or “Let it Go” from Frozen. Perhaps a mash up.

You Need to Have a Girl Crush on Ellie Goulding

Happy Saturday, friends!  I am new to Des Moines as the Internet is new to my apartment (I survived for four weeks without it at home so I’m convinced I can now do anything)- hence, this is my first post from my place instead of hastily typing during my lunch break at work. It’s been a lazy Saturday so far, filled with recollecting great stories from last night and trying to avoid the hot hot heat that is still infesting our first fall month. Today has also given me the chance to catch up on music and general Internet stalking, which leads me to today’s topic of choice: Ellie Goulding and why she should be your girl crush – if she isn’t already.

1. She has one of the most unique and best female voices of all time. There. I said it. OF ALL TIME. Whether you’re feeling pathetic, pissed or ready to party, she has a song to match it. Her second album, Halcyon, was released last October. Lyrics led me to believe she had split with a bf,  and at that time we were clearly handling our break ups in the same way: she was playing sold out shows around the world, and I was going to B-Bop’s three times a week.

2. She’s 26. So it’s not that creepy if we’re obsessed with her, right? She’s basically the same age as us, which means two things: we’d probably be friends in real life. And she’s clearly a struggling post-grad too……TWINSIES.

3. Her Instagram feed is gold. There’s more to her than just cat selfies, but these are clearly my fav. You’ll notice I liked both of these photos. If you haven’t yet figured out that I’m a cat lady (who miraculously has a boyfriend), then sorry, that cat’s out of the bag.

Picture 1

Picture 2

4. She has incredibly voluminous hair…and eyelashes. Voluminous hair, yeah, we love that, but those lashes – even a giraffe would be envious. They cater to her already chic London-rocker look and bring her to the next level of cool. Wanna trade closets? Or lives?


5. She gets giddy around JT. Obviously she just gets it. We need our girl crush to have a crush on our man crush, right? That’s a lot of crushing, but we’re into it. And what’s better than our girl covering our boy’s hit song? Nothing, that’s what.

Picture 4

A Craft for the Craft-Impaired

photoMoving into two new places – both an apartment and a desk – mostly just reminded me how creative I am not. For some of us, creativity is in the intangible: music, writing, mental comebacks we form but never actually say, etc. But then there are the lucky ones who can actually make something, like, with their hands. In grade school, I despised going to art class. I prayed that we got to create paper mache instead of creating something that actually took talent. In middle school, I think I just blacked out during any activity involving acrylic paint or charcoal. In high school, I never took an art class. (This was a crowd-pleaser for everyone, namely my parents.) As soon as I got to college, I had successfully suppressed my art blunders until I GOT TO A SORAWRITY AND NEEDED TO CRAFT ALL THE TIME OR WHATEVER.

It became common knowledge that while I could supply creative ideas, I could never follow through with an actual “thing.” Creating costumes for house parties involved me going to Hobby Lobby buying five yards of fabric (my spacial/measurement skills are worse than my creative ones) and wrapping it around myself and calling it a dress. There were innumerable safety pins and paper clips holding me together. I wish that were a metaphor.

If you have suffered any of the aforementioned traumas, I have found the perfect craft for us. It involves two things: painting (no brushes or fingers necessary) and mason jars (who doesn’t love ‘em?). I wanted to personalize my work space, so I started with just one mason jar – the smaller size – and Martha Stewart acrylic paint (about 2 fl. oz.). Squeeze a generous amount of paint into the mason jar and then turn the jar upside down and every which way. This allows the paint to spread on its own. Once the inside of the jar is covered, turn it upside down on some paper towels. This will let the excess paint drip out. It should be ready to go by morning!

Look, Mom. No hands.

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Food Truck Fair Recap

Twisted Philly

It was the place to be from 3-8 yesterday, but was it the place to eat? I went to the 2nd Annual Food Truck Fair in Uptown with some friends; everyone seemed to be in good spirits, coming off the Pride Weekend high and enjoying the summer weather Minnesota has been denying us all season. The event, which took place on Lake Street & Hennepin Avenue, was one long line without direction. Nearly impossible to tell where lines for trucks started and ended, attendees flocked to beer tents to help pass the time and the heat.

But Minnesotans did what Minnesotans do best — politely squeeze through lines, saying “excuse me” and offering helpful info to any stranger. The evening wasn’t entirely lost for me, as I enjoyed a Twisted Philly sandwich from House of Hunger. The seasoned steak was topped with pepper jack cheese and grilled green pepper, red pepper and onions. Their original polygamy sauce (a mayo-sriracha blend) topped it off. Polygamy sauce was also served on the side with Mac & Cheese bites, which in my opinion, out-shined the entree.

Dazed and hungry, we made our way through the 40-minute line. We didn’t have anywhere else to be — unlike the 5-year-old begging his father, “Daddy, we can we puhlease go home?” — so we were just fine with people watching and dog petting.

Granted, my crew should have done our research beforehand. We were under the impression there would be samples from vendors, unique menu items and room to walk. What we found was simply all the Minneapolis food trucks in one location during one time. My advice for next year? Grab a snack before you head out.